Horoscope

Saturday morning. In the kitchen - cooking for lunch since the gang was coming. Sheens starts convo by saying that a school friend for her, Zhi Yu, created her horoscope online. Site being www.cafeastrology.com. No big deal - I dont believe in astrology anyways - as a muslim, there is no such thing!

But guess what - sheens reads the horoscope and everything i believed in flew out of the window. Forget being a muslim, forget being a logical person with brains (at times!), forget being a rational person - just forget it.

According to Zhi Yu's newly discovered site - sheens will not marry. And if she does it will be at 34 and she will not be faithful! No children, she does not like doing housework, is lazy but though its politely defined as she knows how to separate leisure time with work time hence she appears lazy to others.

As HER mom, let me tell you - she is lazy. Period. No 2 ways about it - no matter how beautifully you phrase it. But if she's in the mood, she'll do everything - mopping, vacuming, clean the house to perfection. Otherwise the tea cup will sit on the table till it becomes moldy and smelly but she wont lift a finger at all to wash it. And she has the making of being a good cook - she has that magic in her hands.

Now back to sheens horoscope, she will have good job and money. She likes finer things in life and becomes materialistic.

Panicked - I started by saying:

Me: Listen sheens - marriage is sacred institution. its important to be faithful and committed in any relationship. And it is each individual human being duty to marry and reproduce.
Sheena: Where is it written mummy?
Me: In the Islam & Hindu religion (remember her dad is Hindu)
Sheena: Yeah rite
Me: In the society we live in!
Sheena: Yeah rite
Me: In my book Sheena!
Sheena: Sighs and give me that weird look

So I start again by saying marriage is sacred and how its a holy institution - yada yada yada. And she turns around and says - I am not getting married today Mom! So chill mom.

I did the next best thing - I called India. Spoke to mom and got dad to go to the pandit there and then. Relax Shalini - says dad. Apparently when sheens was born, her khundli was done. And it says she will marry at 32 and have 2 kids. Phew - relief.

Then bomb drops - timing on the khundli is wrong. Aiyo. Panic again and sent dad out to the pandit immediately. Now he goes to some physco pandit who says he wants sheens india time of birth and it will take him 3 days to do it. So am waiting.

Then told sheens to do nisha's horoscope. Bad bad bad choice. She becomes a drug addict! Aiyo! But she gets married and have lots of kids. In hindsight, yeah right! Nisha is the straightest and the sweetest kid around.

In walks Victor for lunch - seeing me frantic he says "kya hua shalini?" and gives me a big hug. Told him the issue. And you know what he does - "Hei Sheens - good job - you have a rocking life" and hi-fives sheens. Next parul, sunil and montu bhaiya walks in. They all are just too happy she has a great life ahead and agree with Victor. And I am left stunned!

Where have i gone wrong? What values have I thought my kids? To be a drug addict, not get married, have no kids, be unfaithful. Oh god - where did I go wrong! Was in a drugged state the whole weekend. And all nisha could do was - laugh and sheens was all smug!!!

Today is Tuesday and am in the office - reality is surfacing in me. Slowly I am coming out of the haze! My mind clearing. I did my level best with the kids, its not something i know, its a fact of life. I refuse to believe my children will turn out such in future. They are good kids with good values. They are my pride and joy and they will not disappoint me.

Besides - how can a website be right - right? And its a horoscope - i have better faith in my kids and my parvarish!!

And sheens you will avoid Zhi Yu whenever she is visiting funny websites! If I ever meet that child....

shalini